Monday, May 9, 2011

a full year

a full year has past...
I want to blog, but I don't want to worry about hurting people's feelings or my grammar. so suck it. this is my voice and my honest words that need to pour out. so if you don't like what i have to say, don't read this.

I have a beautiful, energetic toddler. he loves me no matter if i do my hair or have food on my shirt. in fact, he adds his own collection of food and boogers to my shirts and pants and hair daily. i pick out my clothing around what boogers will look good with.

religion is gone. we are left with faith and repeated messages from the Holy Spirit. Examples: old alzheimer's lady looks me straight in the eye and says "let your mother-in-law help you; she knows more than you give her credit"...thanks for the dagger in the heart, LORD.
or the day after I quit my job in order to keep our household sane during this next year...husband/nurse of an optometrist that has walked in my shoes tells me "I was wondering what took you so long, your husband is really going to need you this next year"... fullfilling words to my broken/confused heart.
or my beautiful walks with Maggie and Joey...and a deer coming within a few yards of us. just to remind us of how big God is...
Religion, you suck. Faith, you keep me whole. I do admire the friends religion has given me, but putting Joey in a strangers' arms to listen to horrible church music, and to hear a message that will repeatedly be stuck at a 4th grade level...no religion, my God, my Faith is much bigger than that.

Each year keeps getting better and it will keep getting better. my Cup over flow-th. Each day spent with Joey is better and better. My love for Alan grows, and when I think I can't love him more; I do. A full year indeed.

So what's next? I don't have a job, Alan doesn't have a job, our house is on the market to make a transition back to our real home, we have Joey and Maggie and Sam and Bella...family. Our small family. We have faith that God's timing will be perfect. We have options.

a goal i have is to use Joey's nap time to blog and keep me sane. I will have more time, but with this new time will also bring more faith. I need people, but I don't seek out people. I've never been a socialite, but I yearn for being around people. We all need to connect with someone.

future topics: Human milk, Birthing, Death, Making Food, sleeping with babies, cats/dogs, music, consignment deals....oh the full year I've had.

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful! I love blogging...very cathartic for me and helps keep me organized (mostly b/c I try to post my meal plan every monday...and refer back to it multiple times during the week).

    I agree with your thoughts on religion. I LOVE our church, but am excited to start the path to incorporating our whole family in church and worship times. Have you thought about trying it? I hate leaving my babies in the nursery and want them to learn that church can be enjoyable without all the toys in the nursery :)

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