Thursday, August 11, 2011

potty training

having fun with his potty

example of Joey saying "I'm ready"

Joey is 16months old. at 14months old he started to consistently take off his diaper and pee on the carpet/tile/toys/whatever was there. I bought him a little potty to get used to and now he's consistently keeping 4-6 diapers dry per day. So I've done some reading in an attempt to catch up to Joey's willingness to learn more about getting rid of diapers.

I feel like I've read the spectrum of potty training theories to come up with my own. From the 'wait until the child is 3 years old and meets all of these signs' as found in the Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day to the ultra hippie Diaper Free book learning about the world of EC (elimination communication). What a huge spectrum! from stickers, charts, and rewarding your child with candy for a poop to never putting a diaper on your infant.
Alan and I think we've found a tactic and theory that's working for our family. It has nothing to do with 'training', that's not the right word. More like we found the right form of encouragement for Joey and his pee-pee. I guess you would say we lean more towards a late start EC that I learned more about in this diaper-free book. Goals for encouraging pee-pee in the potty: Learn to love sitting on the potty, Learn to relax on the potty (we read books), predict typical times when Joey pees and poops, never putting any pressure on Joey to pee in the potty, no scolding Joey for not peeing in the potty (even when he pees on my carpet), and being attentive to Joey's communication to us that he has to pee especially taking him to the potty when he starts tugging on his diaper. I do not agree with excessive praise towards peeing and pooping in the potty. Examples of excessive praise: giving him candy for peeing and pooping, singing and clapping while watching poo get flushed down the toilet, a sticker gets so complicated when a normal behavior gets lavish treatment. The best example of why not to do excessive praise I read somewhere is learning how to use the potty is like learning how to feed yourself. Even though the baby/toddler is feeding themselves, they still need assistance preparing food and monitoring food intake; just like learning how to use the potty, assistance with clothing and monitoring the process is still needed. Don't get me wrong, we make going to the potty fun; but my son is not getting an M&M for every bowel movement. I guess I could rant some more, but I will restrain.

He pees right when he wakes up from the night or a nap, so we ask Joey to put his pee-pee on the potty. When he starts tugging at his diaper, we take him to the potty. We try to teach him the ALS sign for toilet as another way to communicate with us. We give him a cue word when he's peeing: 'PSSS', and he repeats it when he's peeing. He typically poos right after breakfast and after lunch. We like 'helping' empty the potty and flushing the toilet, and then enjoy washing our hands together. I would call us "part-time late-EC'ers". We have not successfully used the potty outside the house, but he has peed on his new babysitter's floor when she took off his diaper to check to see if he was wet. Joey is trying to tell us he doesn't like peeing and pooping on himself.

Joey showed us he was ready and we are trying to listen.

poppers and peppers

last night's supper...UH-mazing!

Creamy Chicken Enchiladas
and as always I can never follow a recipe. My version was 4oz cream cheese, shredded baked chicken, onion powder, garlic powder, dried cilantro, and shredded Monterrey jack cheese creamed together and rolled into flour tortillas and covered with shredded cheese. Heated in the oven 350 for 20minutes.

Now I want to try different variations to this...creamy steak with Monterrey jack cheese, I also want to try shredded squash inside the enchiladas....

The other new recipe I tried was some poppers based off these poppers. I used steak pieces, green peppers, and cream cheese inside a crescent roll. 350 for 10minutes. Delish!!! The possibilities are endless for new combinations...

Saturday, July 30, 2011


Joey loved poking and pressing his little fingers into this new texture. I made Koolaid Playdough for Joey. Out of the 4 different colors (red, blue, green, yellow), he liked the red the best. My favorite is listening to the noises he adds to any activity.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011


great breastfeeding blog

I am in LOVE with nursing my active toddler. I am SO thankful God has provided my family with the financial options for me to have a break from working in order to nurse my toddler.

breastfeeding myths
make me laugh.

Baby Joey will be 16 months soon. Having Joey 'self-wean' and cut out his own nursings at his own time. Currently, he asks for breastmilk sometimes after falling or making an ouchy, sometimes before his one long nap, most times before bedtime (but never falls asleep attached anymore), often once in the early morning hours, and when hurting. This is a dearly loved time with him.

The kicker is I will need to return back to work before Joey is going to be done weaning himself. My heart is torn. Every feeding has become more precious. The middle of the night tap and grunt, tugging on my shirt, the foot in the face as he tries to get closer to me, the little finger tracing the circle around my belly button....really weaning started when I gave him solid food at 7 1/2 months. This will just be another curve in the road of our breastfeeding relationship.

God has perfect timing and I need to have faith that weaning my child will be in God's timing too.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

sweet potato pancakes

I found a recipe for Sweet Potato Pancakes and *had* to try it.
the original recipe went something like this (as I am frustrated that I can't find the website/blog): 1/2 cup baked sweet potato, 1/4 coconut flour, 3 eggs, cinnamon, 1/2t vanilla; use coconut oil to fry in pan

Here's what I ended up using: 1 1/2 sweet potatoes (closer to 2/3 cup baked and smashed), 1/4 cup unbleached flour, 3 eggs, 1/2 cup whole milk, 1/4t cinnamon, 1/2t vanilla. made them in my non-stick pan. OMG! So delicious! Joey ate almost 4 pancakes with a side of peas, applesauce, and cottage cheese. They were so sweet and were perfect with a bit of butter.

The batter makes them a smidgen too dense. Next time I make them I'm going to thin the batter down more with milk and turn them into crepes!!! add a bit of butter and sprinkle with powdered sugar...!!!! Can't wait to get some more sweet potatoes.

Monday, July 18, 2011

baby photos

I finally got a baby book done for Joey.

The best part is it was a buy 1, get 2 free deal. Saving money always gives me a little high.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

pool on the farm

every 50 acre farm needs an in ground pool; or at least I'm glad my parents think so. going to share some photos and videos of our fun week at "grandpa Joe's"

Joey loved watching Grandpa Joe mow the yard on a tractor and loved being pushed around on his tractor

we also liked learning how to jump in the pool.

but didn't like when mom wasn't with me in the pool, but Joey was still cute!

we got our volleyball on.

Emily played so much volleyball that as she was sending a volley back over in a game with 10 year old, her wedding ring flew off over 10feet. The ring was found 2 days later past 6 feet of pool decking, past 4 feet of river rock border, past the black vertical aluminum fence, and into the grass. So thankful the ring was found!

We have a little water bug forming and love my Joey.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

adventures at the Botanical Garden

Joey and I went to the St Louis Botanical Garden earlier this month. We wanted to post some photos up here.

He loves water, and we of course were attracted to every water fountain.

He called the statues of sheep, dogs. Duh, of course they are dogs; i see 4 legs.

He wanted to know about everything!!! pointing at things for me to describe.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

breast milk donation

What do I do with the leftover human milk in my freezer? Approximately 45ounces of white liquid gold already pumped. Joey will not drink it from a sippy cup and never has taken a bottle when I'm around; he likes it from the 'tap'. :)
So I search online for milk donations. I can't find anything local to just give milk away. I find requests that milk is 'urgently needed', but you have to have over 100 ounces. There's where you can donate locally by state, but I still don't know. Having to prove I don't have HIV/hepatitis/nasty habits, takes out the benevolence of sharing my sacred milk.

I can't stomach the idea of throwing it away.

And then I find this blog!!!!
Perfect timing on the idea of donating. Knowing that donation centers are going to Prolacta Bioscience really takes the altruism out of the situation.

I guess I really want to know who gets this treasure of mine. I'm sharing something very personal, so I guess it needs to be done in a personal manner if at all.

Or i'll just add it to his smoothie with the extra serving of veggies he doesn't eat...

****update****I found a home for my milk. I'm so happy.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


i had a skin tag removed on my neck because Joey was harassing the heck out of it. Joey would dig his little finger nails in and repeatedly pinch this one area. When he was nursing this little skin tag had become his source of comfort. After bumping his head, he would throw his little body in my arms and look for the skin tag to hold. This little habit was getting really annoying.

My skin tag was removed with a laser, basically cauterized off. The scab was irritated by lots of chlorine and pool time (totally worth it). Now that it's irritated I have to let it heal.

now I'm suffering from post-op infection. Purulent drainage, yellow exudate, red skin margins, low grade temps (100.6), nausea, lack of appetite, fatigue, and achy body. I'm hoping my body can fight this thing naturally without the aid of oral antibiotics. I think antibiotics have been significantly overused and I understand any other person would already be pushing the antibiotics down their throats. Here's my thought...why would you kill all of the good bacteria that your body is producing? instead wouldn't you want to boost your system with bacteria fighting immunity powers? i haven't had my kefir for a week since I've been out of town; that will help. More Kefir and increase pro-biotic intake...maintain a healthy diet and stay hydrated. That's healing from the inside out. keeping the wound clean and treating with a topical antibiotic promotes healing from the outside in.

So, will vanity or health win?

2 days later I'm 100% and my mole is healing slowly, but healing. I'm glad I'm healthy.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Dream House

As we're selling our current house, I really want to dream more about our next house.

I'm sure I'll have to edit and add to this post more than once, that's the best part of dreams - they change and grow.

My house will have an area for a vegetable garden and a children's garden.
My yard will have fragrant bushes and many varieties of cutting flowers.
We'll have a large platform king-sized bed with a matching bedroom set.
No more split entry homes, I'm so tired of being greeted by stairs.
There will be mature shade trees in the yard, one tree with the perfect limb for a swing.
The neighborhood will enjoy dogs and be friendly. Neighbors will be outside enjoying themselves.
A backyard shall not be a ski slope.
Our 2 car garage will be organized with a shelving system.
Large walk-in closet at least in the master bedroom.
Separate bathroom sinks to keep our marriage going strong.
Large kitchen for merry gatherings and happy bellies.
A quiet street with minimal car traffic so my children can play in the front or backyard.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

toddler musings of late

my little toddler is always amazing me. the last 5 days have created a multitude of hilarious moments that I have to write down and share in this blog-a-sphere.

~it's official Joey likes to run with scissors. He found some in his cousins room and ran like the wind.

~devoured 2 1/2 eggs at breakfast over the weekend and then wanted 'more, more, more'.

~he has an infatuation with toothbrushes (which is hilarious by itself being a grandson of a dentist in which he shares his name and birthday), but he takes said toothbrush and was scrubbing away. He scrubbed the toilet with his toothbrush. so helpful.

~we took him to the town's memorial day gathering/katy days. the kid is infatuated with balloons. we were a half block away from the park where katy days festivities were happening and Joey was doing everything he could to climb out of my arms while he started repeatedly chanting 'gagoon, gagoon'. his little heart loves everything about a balloon. we changed our plans and immediately had to find the balloon stand and get the poor kid a gagoon!

~also at Katy Days was a petting zoo. A miniature pony, goats, bunnies, a wallaby, chicks, and Joey's favorite - ducklings

~any Memorial Day is not offical until you take a dip in the pool. Joey thought the pool was still a bit cool, but he had fun. instead he played with the pool noodles and kept himself busy at the pool's edge.

~he also has taken to driving at a young age. this is only been started with his love for testing out buttons.

~spent 5 solid minutes examining a fellow toddler's belly button. The conversation between them I'm guessing went something like this: joey-'i have a belly button' Tucker-'no way, I have a belly button' joey-'can i see yours?' tucker-'sure, but where's your belly button' joey-'right here, oh bother, this shirt gets in the way' Tucker-'i know what you mean. can i touch your belly button again?' Joey-'i love belly buttons'...

~ and he's getting to be really brave. standing on his car. my motherly heart sinks just a bit trying to prep myself the day he has to have his first stitches or first cast from a broken bone. Moms of boys...

~Joey loves to hold his pee-pee; i don't know if it's because his foreskin is intact or if it's just a guy thing. He grabs it out of his diaper or just takes the diaper all the way off pretty frequently throughout the day. well in front of his great-grandma he did his Houdini thing and whipped out his pee-pee. My Nana, in that sweet old lady thing where they whisper but it's really loud, leans over to my mom and says, "something's wrong with his penis". I started laughing...apparently my sweet Nana has never seen and non-circumcised male before and legitimately thought Joey had damaged his pee-pee by all of the tugging and pulling.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

garden salad

with spring, comes the first garden produce. I have already started needing new ideas for spring lettuce as I do not want to complain about having to eat so much freshness.

My new repeatable salad idea:
spring lettuce with dried cranberries and soy nuts topped with balsamic vinegar dressing. delish!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

partly cloudy with a chance of meatballs

spring tornado weather - I hate you. My gut aches; I feel ulcers coming on with the constant fear of the weather. The worst tornado in over 60 years hit Joplin, MO. 6-7mile wide path of destruction. I saw a photo of a wooden chair imbedded in the side of a cement wall. 8,000 buildings damaged. people remain missing. over 120 died. over 750 are injured.
God is in all and works through all, this I have no doubt. So, tonight I choose not to understand. Ultimately I don't need to understand it all. It will all be revealed to me in God's perfect timing, storms and all. Meatballs, anyone?

Friday, May 20, 2011


Matthew 6:34 -Don't worry about tomorrow. It will take care of itself. You have enough to worry about today.

So many unknowns in life. So many challenges ahead. Being in the present. Living life in the moment...

I can honestly say I'm getting much better at this. I could spend all my waking hours worrying about the rest of my summer, worrying about possible job opportunities, worrying about everything; but the reality is it doesn't help figure anything out. I love to analyze, it's part of what makes me tick. Coming to the realization that over analyzing situations and our future gets me no where has really helped my emotional well-being.

Enjoy today.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

meal idea

recipes just come to me. it annoys Alan that I don't measure when I cook. it's frustrating to friends that want to copy 'that one' recipe. my mother-in-law praises my meal ideas.

Here's my delicious meal I'm going to try to write down for you.
1pound Steak cubed and pan-seared in about 2T olive oil
seasoned with ginger powder, lime juice, dried cilantro, and salt (sorry, i don't measure; i just threw stuff in until it smelled right)
3-4 handfuls of penne wheat pasta
topped with Parmesan cheese

I try to make everything from scratch, but the reality is time and money are important factors too. in moderation I do love Velveta, an occasional bratwurst, boxed dinners, cookie mixes, and ice cream sandwiches.

Joey loved the pasta and shared his steak with Maggie.
Enjoy trying new food combinations.

food choices

everyone has to eat food to function. but for so many, food controls people. I let food control me in the form of bulimia for 5 years. I know how people can be controlled by food. However, ever since I had to watch my blood sugar meticulously during my pregnancy, I feel I have had good control over my food choices.

I do the grocery shopping and the bulk of food preparation for our family. I'm that annoying shopper that stops in the middle of the isle with two different cans of green beans comparing the labels. (here's a good blog on selecting food). I'm the lady buying 4 bags of frozen fruit at a time (there's no added sugar or syrup in frozen fruit). I'm the lady buying 2 dozen eggs every grocery store visit. I'm also the lady that cringes at the idea of drinking pop, but don't nag my hubby who loves an occasional Dr.Pepper (I'm so proud of him for cutting back his pop intake).
but I'm also the lady getting a little high off saving a few pennies, a few dollars, but I won't jeopardize my health for it. that's a fine line that each family has to decide where it is.

Obesity has taken over our society. Obese people kind of piss me off. Because most of the time it's not about food at all. It's depression, it's a lack of knowledge, it's a lack in any form of exercise, it's binge eating at night instead of small/frequent meals throughout the day. It's just another form of food controlling people instead of people having control over food. Food is medicine for your body. Giving your body good food/good medicine is a matter of practice and moderation.

Moderation really applies to so many things in life. exercise, there can be too much or too little. Sugar, your body needs natural sugars (fruits and carbs), but can easily have too much sugar (processed sugars, artificial sugars, corn syrup abundance). Money, there can be too much and too little (I'm a believer that like my great-grandma said make enough money to have options). Moderation also applies to food portion control. No one needs to eat 2 bowls of cereal in one sitting; no one should ever drink 2 cans of pop in one sitting I can go on and on...but you get the point. Moderation is very important.

I guess this bothers me so much because I can't help others directly regarding their food intake. Each person has to make their own choices. I also feel that most of our society doesn't know how to listen to their own bodies. Instead of listening to your body and getting sleep when sleepy, people rely on caffeine to medicate their bodies. Instead of eating until satisfied, we eat quickly until we are full. Instead of going outside to enjoy the sun, we sit on our butts and watch hours of mindless TV. Instead of walking or doing the stairs to get to our designations, we consistently choose the easier/lazier route. I can't make people change, you have to make your own changes for your own life. Each time you put food into your mouth, you are making a choice. Does food have control over you or do you have control over the food you eat?

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

how many ways can you say baby butt?

If you know anything about me you know I love I'm going to talk about baby poo and diapers.

I have entered the world of cloth diapering. The names given to some of these cloth diapers is absurd: BumGenius 4.0, bummis, Ragababe, FuzziBunz, Econobum, Thirsties, GDiapers, name a few. And there are so many kinds of diapers: pocket diapers, pre-folds with covers, All in ones, One-size, gives me a headache.

To simplify we have fancy cloth diapers, nothing like what my momma had.

At first we started with a diaper service (a gift for the babe). This was wonderful when we were learning about this new vast world of baby poo. We didn't have to worry about what soap to buy (Charlie's Soap, Rockin' Green,...crazy names again) or washing poop with the clothes and linens we daily used...EWWW! The diaper service used pre-folds and covers, so all we had to worry about was learning the 'angel fold' and putting the plastic sack out once a week to be picked up.

Then I realized how easy it was to take care of cloth diapers and how terrible Alan was at learning how to fold the pre-folds...confusing, I know. So I wanted to try these BumGenius diapers that a few of my friends had. Everyone that was using a BumGenius pocket diaper was in LOVE. So I found a website that guaranteed me that I would love them and had a fancy sale. And I was hooked!

The BumGenius 3.0 and I were instant friends. The diapers are so easy to put on and so easily sizable. The adjustable snaps helped Joey go from infant to large bum (2T)pretty easily. Alan and I consistently found Joey's explosive poos were very rare in a cloth diaper compared to a disposable. We use disposables when traveling out of town and when Joey is at a babysitter. but I'm getting the courage to wash in grandparents's all about the wet bag and containing any smell.

How do you care for them? (you might be asking)
at first we didn't have a diaper sprayer when all he was eating was human milk, but then the solid poos came soon after he started eating at almost 7 months and the diaper sprayer was a must. I couldn't imagine hand rinsing the cloth diaper in the toilet, yuck; so spraying off the runny poo diapers is easy with the sprayer. Rinsing solid poo is even easier, you just plop the turd in the toilet and flush. Then separate the insert from the pocket diaper into a cloth bag and put the lid on the trash can.
we do a load of diapers every 2 - 2 1/2 days. I like using Charlie's Soap powder. There is no left over ammonia smell when I use 1/2 a scoop (about 1T)of this amazing powder. I even do some of our smelly laundry with a scoop of this stuff. No more worries of mixing poo in the same washer that our clothes go through.
The diapers go through 2 complete cycles in the washer, first on cold, second on hot. Then the diapers go in the dryer for 60 minutes. I'll dry them in the sun when I can. The diapers then get the inserts stuffed back into them. We have the double stuffed diapers and the single stuffed diapers ready for action.

~ tips on poo...use olive oil on baby's butt during the first poos/meconium and definitely use disposables at this stage; much easier.

~ I have a small wet bag for day to day outings and put any and all dirty clothes/diapers in it. it's really easy to change the Bum Genius when out of the house doing errands.

Cloth diapering - one of the dirtiest jobs you'll ever love...

Maggie the Hooker

I never thought I would ever call my dog-ter (get it?! daughter, except she's a dog) a Hooker, but she is the neighborhood tramp. If i don't help her walk around the neighborhood to greet everyone she wants to play with and talk to, then she jumps the fence and takes herself on her own walk.

She's so cute and smart, and she does try to please us. She wants to be good; I know she does. She just can't contain herself sometimes. She has so much puppy energy still at 2years old. Sometimes when we let her out to play with the other off-leash dogs she gets so excited that she just spins. She's a blur to any camera because she is spinning so fast. and if you're too close she will slime you with her 'I'm so happy'-tongue hanging out...big, juicy, foam of a slime.

My favorite Maggie/Hooker story is the time she jumped the fence, ran off right before a rainstorm. We were worried about our dog getting scared or lost during the storm, but not Maggie. We were sitting in the garage waiting for her to come home and of course she did...with a BOYFRIEND!!! Hooker! Slut! Oh, Maggie... both her and her new boyfriend, who tried to stay and introduce himself, were drenched in the rain and covered in mud. We tried to scold her, but we were so busy laughing and so glad she came home safely. Her boyfriend did not have a collar on and we could tell he was old by his cloudy eyes; and he went on his way to find another hooker to play with...

Then there is Maggie's all time favorite boyfriend, Charlie. Charlie is the neighborhood's Great Dane. and he is handsome! Maggie and Charlie are the same age. When they are together Maggie does her twirling circles around him...just showing off her excitement. Yesterday she jumped Charlie's fence with the leash still on just because she wanted to see him so bad. silly girl.

So what am I doing today? purchasing her another shock collar. She tore her previous one up to where I can't attach it and can't turn it on...I told you she's smart. That's my dog-ter.

Monday, May 16, 2011

my gift

Psalm 127:3 Children are a blessing and a gift from the Lord.

My heart floods with warmth every time Joey runs towards me. His little chubby cheeks are bouncing up and down with each awkward toddler footstep. He lets out this "EEEE" noise that's almost a grunt but he has a goofy teeth-showing grin on his face. And then there's his sausage fingers attached to his wrist-rolled arms that are flung open can you not fall in love with him and forget everything else around you for that brief moment?

What a wonderful gift!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

How to be Mature

James 1:2-6a My friends, be glad, even if you have a lot of trouble. You know that you learn to endure by having your faith tested. But you must learn to endure everything, so that you will be completely mature and not lacking in anything.
If any of you need wisdom, you should ask God, and it will be given to you. God is generous and won't correct you for asking. But when you ask for something, you must have faith and not doubt.

I love reading James 1:2 in different versions. Emily's version: When life sucks and you're faith is being tested, be glad because this will give you perseverance and result in complete maturity.

I'm needing a little bulking up on scripture today. It's been a good day.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

new season

This weekend is the beginning of a new season. Separate housing for a married couple should not be "the best option at this time". Our separate lives ...words are hard.

<< Ecclesiastes 3 >>
A Time for Everything
1To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

9What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth? 10I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.

11He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

12I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life. 13And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God. 14I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him. 15That which hath been is now; and that which is to be hath already been; and God requireth that which is past.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Human Milk

I'm giving Joey my milk. I'm breastfeeding a toddler. I'm an extended breastfeeder. I'm letting him self-wean...whatever you want to call it. I'm in love with our little relationship. How he stops and looks up at me, how the magic milk instantly stops crying and fixes boo-boos, and how I'm able to give him the exact nutrition his little body needs.
I'm also in love with breastfeeding because I got back in my jeans by week 3, I have gotten to eat, and didn't have to deal with having a period for an extra 13months. Breastfeeding makes amenorrhea normal; no period for 23 months!!! When I say eat, I mean EAT; I wanted to have a whole cheesecake after eating a whole cow. There were several weeks in a row (around the winter holidays too) where I would eat an entire stick of cream cheese everyday and still be hungry.
I wish more mommas worked through their "issues" with breastfeeding and did this. I also wish society around us was more accepting. Why people feel the need to cover up and hide in a room in order to feed their child...maybe they're the same people that like to eat a whole box of chocolate by themselves too. I wish I could take more artsy photos of our feeding sessions and capture the looks of lovin' I get. I wish to always cherish the middle of the night loving/eating sessions. and attempt to count the times where Joey has attempted to nurse my belly button. or the night where he just nursed right through my shirt. or early on when my boobs were so messy and anytime he was nursing the other boob would get jealous and leak all over the place. or the time I came home from work and was so happy to see the dog that my milk let down just looking at the dog!!!
Pumping at work was a different thing. I daily had to find a place to hide and feel safe pumping. I daily had people tell me how weird it was that I was providing free nutrients to my baby by pumping. I had a manager that was not supportive and didn't understand (yet another reason I quit my job). Pumping took commitment. But I had amazing support from hubby. Once we got the pumping pattern down; there was no reason to stop. No reason to wean my chubby baby.
It was not easy at first. Open sores, doing positive self-talk to motivate me to give my baby one more feeding. Feeding him on one side, so the other side could have a break and hopefully heal. Wading through the crazy emotions postpartum hormones were causing. So many tears at first.
So worth it. I still don't feel like I know everything about breastfeeding and I still long to learn more and more. I find myself on ALL the TIME!

Got Milk?

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

just the begining

this is just the begining of of toddlerhood. a huge milestone. a season all it's own. in only having the hope to repeat itself someday. But for now we have entered toddlerhood with Joey where finding all of momma's No-No buttons are in the house is a treasure hunt all in itself. where eating is supposed to include food in your hair. where laughing is expected anytime anyone says 'belly button'. where you look outside for 15minutes to find the perfect rock and then find the perfect matching stick for your other hand...and just to top that off you try to eat both of them.

Toddlerhood makes my heart whole. Finding fascination in balloons clear across the room. Sticking his little tongue out just to get me to laugh. Helping just to see if I appreciate what he's doing. He's a little DJ, pressing buttons on the radio. Turning the alarm clock into a 'dog on a leash' and taking the new 'dog' on a walk all around the house.

He loves his dog-dog. He curls up with her and lays his head against her warm body and Maggie gently snuggles back. We go on walks together. Those walks are my everything. So amazing to learn about the world around you through the eyes of a toddler. by the way, sippy cups are meant to go into register vents...that's what i'm learning.

I'm trying to teach him to sign a few words and he just looks at me like 'i already told you what i want, so why do i have to repeat myself'.

O Toddlerhood...this is going to be a grand adventure.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

my inner hippie

the older I get, the more i realize I'm a hippie. and I'm okay with that.
Let me list the ways I am a hippie...
1 Home Birth
2 Anti-Doctors
3 I have a placenta in my freezer
4 cloth diapering
5 amber necklace
6 breastfeeding
7 making my own baby food
8 enjoy gardening and pulling weeds
9 love my vegetable garden
10 compost pile
11 baby wearing
12 love my family bed and sleeping with baby
13 anti-dialysis for long term and NICU's are unethical
14 get excited when I get good gas mileage
15 don't like eating out because I can make it better myself
16 love eating healthy
17 kefir - make my own probiotics
18 Yoga and Pilates
19 hot tea connoisseur

but I'm not a hippie because
1 i don't care for rock music
2 I have never smoked anything and never will
3 still feel uncomfortable with open homosexuality displayed in public
4 I'm a republican
5 hate tie-dyed clothing
6 love being married
7 I eat meat and it's delicious.

So basically I refuse to conform to someone's cookie cutter. I make my own shapes and opinions. Therefore I expect everyone else to make their own decisions too. I long for people to be informed before making choices.

Monday, May 9, 2011

a full year

a full year has past...
I want to blog, but I don't want to worry about hurting people's feelings or my grammar. so suck it. this is my voice and my honest words that need to pour out. so if you don't like what i have to say, don't read this.

I have a beautiful, energetic toddler. he loves me no matter if i do my hair or have food on my shirt. in fact, he adds his own collection of food and boogers to my shirts and pants and hair daily. i pick out my clothing around what boogers will look good with.

religion is gone. we are left with faith and repeated messages from the Holy Spirit. Examples: old alzheimer's lady looks me straight in the eye and says "let your mother-in-law help you; she knows more than you give her credit"...thanks for the dagger in the heart, LORD.
or the day after I quit my job in order to keep our household sane during this next year...husband/nurse of an optometrist that has walked in my shoes tells me "I was wondering what took you so long, your husband is really going to need you this next year"... fullfilling words to my broken/confused heart.
or my beautiful walks with Maggie and Joey...and a deer coming within a few yards of us. just to remind us of how big God is...
Religion, you suck. Faith, you keep me whole. I do admire the friends religion has given me, but putting Joey in a strangers' arms to listen to horrible church music, and to hear a message that will repeatedly be stuck at a 4th grade religion, my God, my Faith is much bigger than that.

Each year keeps getting better and it will keep getting better. my Cup over flow-th. Each day spent with Joey is better and better. My love for Alan grows, and when I think I can't love him more; I do. A full year indeed.

So what's next? I don't have a job, Alan doesn't have a job, our house is on the market to make a transition back to our real home, we have Joey and Maggie and Sam and Our small family. We have faith that God's timing will be perfect. We have options.

a goal i have is to use Joey's nap time to blog and keep me sane. I will have more time, but with this new time will also bring more faith. I need people, but I don't seek out people. I've never been a socialite, but I yearn for being around people. We all need to connect with someone.

future topics: Human milk, Birthing, Death, Making Food, sleeping with babies, cats/dogs, music, consignment deals....oh the full year I've had.